Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Got to take the good with the bad…

I for one am very pleased that the sunshine has decided to come back again :-)  All the rain and wind has been making me feel a bit miserable, especially as I haven’t been able to do much walking or cycling as I usually do, which might seem like a good way of getting out of doing exercise, but exercise actually makes me feel better and happier and I’ve missed it… (Never thought I would be saying that)

As it was a nice day and I haven’t seen my sister much lately, we decided to have a girl’s day out, me, my two sisters Marie and Sophie, and baba (Lisa-Marie). So I got ready this morning to pick my sister and baba up from theirs, I was all ready and set, then my mum told me some of the roads in Exeter were closed because the Queen was visiting, so I had to go the long way to my sisters that I don’t know very well….  I was a bit annoyed about this, because fair enough if she wants to visit Exeter, but getting roads closed causing disruption to other people?!  I know she’s the Queen but she’s just one person, closing the roads probably caused loads of people problems…  And what exactly did she come to Exeter to do?  There didn’t seem like any particular reason for her visit, she just came, waved a lot and spoke to a few select people (as in about 3 people) then left.  She could have done that in London..  Also how do we actually know it was the real Queen?  It could have easily just been a lookalike, so not only was I late arriving at my sisters because of the Queen; it may not have even been the real Queen!  She was probably at home having a cup of tea, watching the fake Queen on TV and giving her marks out of 10 on being like her…But I don’t really want to think about this because that would just rub salt in the wound.  I hope in future if we ever get another royal visit it will be one of the more interesting royals, like Kate Middleton or Prince Harry… As you can probably tell I’m not much of a royalist haha..

Anyway, I got to my sisters, eventually, and we all had a bit of a bad experience.  On my way up the lane that leads to my sisters we saw two dogs walking from the bungalow further up from where my sister lives, they were lurcher dogs…I knew they must have got loose as apparently the people who own them work all day and the dogs were alone… I followed them back up the lane thinking they would head back up to the bungalow where they live, but instead they turned into my sisters… at first I didn’t think anything of this as they looked like harmless dogs…. So once I got up the lane to my sisters we got out of the car, but the pushchair etc in ready and put baba in her car seat in the car…then suddenly the two lurcher dogs came towards us, then started to viciously attack the other dog that lives at my sisters… Lucky, the dog that got attacked is a very sweet natured dog, and everyone that meets her says how lovely she is, so to see her get attacked and squeal in pain while these two horrible dogs were biting her was really upsetting… Marie grabbed her to try and protect her but they were still trying to bite her and I was shouting at them to stop and wiping them… eventually they backed off and ran off back down the lane… so my sister grabbed Lucky and locked her inside so they couldn’t get to her, she was bleeding a little bit from a small bite, but thankfully she wasn’t badly hurt..  I know they say you shouldn’t get between fighting dogs, but I know they would have killed her if we didn’t… and she’s such a lovely and loyal dog we couldn’t see her get hurt.  So that part of the day wasn’t very nice, but thankfully no one was hurt.

After we made sure Lucky was ok and locked her in we headed for lunch at the Harvester in Exeter, I hadn’t been their for years so wanted to see how good the food was (it was ok, but nothing to write home about, so I wouldn’t recommend it) also the waiting time was ages considering there weren’t many people their and the staff weren’t very helpful or overly friendly, but it was nice spending time with my sisters talking, and baba made lots of new friends by waving to everyone that walked past and saying rahhhhh to them, she’s been saying a few words lately, rahhhhh, mum, dada and yum, or at least it sounds like it..  I’m biased because she’s my niece but she’s the cutest and loveliest baby I’ve ever seen and as she’s getting older she’s starting to have her own little personality:

View from the Harvester

Sunday, 1 April 2012

Going around in circles :(

Not literally, I haven't lost the plot that much yet! But I am starting to wonder if my lungs have... my lungs seem to be jumping from one extreme to the other at the minute, one minute I'm blowig out 66% lung function (which is great for me) to then blowing out 40%, which is bad for me...the only time I seem to manage to blow out these higher numbers is when I'm on high dose steroids, which
although they are a god send and I've come to like them very much (wasn't very keen on them in the past), they aren't ideal... they weaken the immune system for starters so although they help with
the inflammation they make me prone to more infection which when  you're already prone to infection isn't good...

At the minute the circle is, my chest gets very tight/wheezy/irritable (to the point where I can't clear mucus from the top of my lungs) I then get more infection because the mucus is trapped in my lungs
because it's impossible to clear when my lungs are so inflamed, at this point my lung function is rubbish so I get put on high dose steroids, which then get reduced each week, so I start off with 30mg, then 20mg, then 15mg, then 10mg, and I'm suppose to eventually get down to 7.5mg... 7.5mg still hasn't happened yet though because as soon as I get down to 15mg I start having problems with tightness and wheeze again.  I think I've had about 3 or 4 courses of steroids now, I've been on various doses since January anyway, which is unusual for me as I've only ever had 2 courses of steroids in my whole life prior to this...  So I guess now I'm starting to wonder where does it stop? surely it's not possible for me to just keep having doses of steroids constantly then going back to square one each time they get reduced? I don't think it's possible for me to stay on the 20mg that I need in order for my lungs to function as they should?  Doing chest physio at the minute has to be the most frustrating thing I've ever had to do, I can feel the phelgm there on the top of my lungs just stuck and refusing to come up, it's like it's teasing me, it's saying hey I'm here but I'm not coming up... I must admit I'm getting tired of doing so many nebs just to try and keep my lungs feeling reasonable and physio is taking me at least 35 minutes at the minute, because only very small amounts will come up at a time and I can feel there is loads there, I so badly just want it to come up so it's not stuck there causing more infection, but instead all I get is tightness and wheeze.
I think the main reason for this is my aspergillus, which for some reason I've started having problems with now, even though it's never been something I've suffered with in the past, that's the question I keep asking myself at the minute, why now? How come my lungs have only now decided it doesn't like something that occurs naturally in the environment?  I know there's probably some complicated medical answer to this but to be honest I don't really care, I want my lungs to stop
throwing strops like some spoilt child and to just get on with it..
I've also been found to be growing MRSA too but I've been told that this is no different in terms of the damage it causes then normal Staph, the only difference is there are less drugs that can treat it, so I'm unsure of what part this might be playing.  It seems when my lungs are good, they are really good, but when they are bad, they are really bad! 

So now I'm a bit unsure of what to do really... Do I get IVs, even though the infection is only really secondry to the inflammation caused by aspergillus, would they even help that much if the main problem isn't solved? Do I ask to get my steroid dose increased again? Even though when they are decreased again I will be back to square one once again... I'm frustrated and really want an answer, but at the same time I know my CF team are doing the best they can, they don't have the answer either, it just seems a bit hopeless at the minute and I just feel like I'm going around in circles with no end in sight... The annoying thing is I know apart from the problems caused by aspergillus my lungs are actually really good, which is shown when I'm on steroids, it's just all the inflammation and trapped phlegm that's causing all the problems and I'm starting to worry this is going to start to cause actual damage to my lungs and then they wont be good anymore... So all in all I'm feeling a bit fed up and starting to wonder why I'm putting in so much effort with my meds when I'm getting minimal results back from them, I don't mind doing them when they work, but spending hours doing them just to be in the same boat afterwards makes me wonder what the point is..

So I'm very sorry for the moan (I know alot of people are in a much worse situation, but if I don't start worrying now it might not be long until I'm in a much worse situation too).

On a bright note I like the lovely weather we've been having recently :) It's been nice to sit out in it soaking up some vitamin D, I'm hoping it stays this way for a while so I can do a family BBQ..

I love my glasses, not only good for the sun but they hide my dark circles under my eyes (and they're spotty!... win win :)

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Organ Donation: my views

 Lately there has been alot about organ donation around (which is good) but I feel the need
 to write about one aspect of it that I don't agree with that I have seen happening.. It took me quite a few years to decide to finally join the organ donation registar, it was something I was thinking about since I was 16 believe it or not, but I only actually joined aged 20.  Why did it take 4 years for me to decide about something that only takes about 7 minutes to actually do?  Well I wasn't sure where I stood on it is the honest answer.  Truth be known I have conflicting views of organ donation, I myself have never thought getting a lung transplant is something I want when the time comes, now this may change once I reach that stage of being very ill ( I don't know) but even at my very illest I've never thought it would be something I would want.. To describe exactly why is difficult because it's very complex and  I'm not even sure people would understand my views.. I'm the type of person that believes everything happens for a reason; I don't believe in coincidences, I feel this is only our first life and that there is something else (maybe even better) beyond it.  To cut a long story short I feel when my time is up it's up.. I obviously intend to live my life to the full until that day, but once it comes I don't think I will want to extend it.  I feel horrible writing this because I know that means I will have to leave behind my family, partner and friends, but that's just how I feel.  There will only ever be this one of me and once that's gone it's gone. Now these are my views and I know people will probably think "ah there is no other life beyond this" or "the world is full of coincidences you idiot", and you know what maybe they are right, I have no idea, I don't claim to have the grand plan of life.  All I know is what I  believe, my views, I don't ask that other people share these views, but they are mine and I am entitled to them, no matter what other people think or feel I have that right.

 Now, here's where it gets complex.. After 4 years of thinking about it seriously, I decided to join the organ donation registar.. Because even though I don't personally want a transplant in the future and it isn't for me, that doesn't mean I'm going to deny someone else in the future of having  extra years.  I have my views but I also know not everyone else shares those views, and I wouldn't want them to, that's what makes this world such an amazing place, people who have different views, personalities, opinions etc, it would be pretty boring if we were all the same. It would be pretty selfish of me to decide not to join the registar purely based on the fact I don't want a transplant in the future..  At first I was worried about joining the registar because I thought it might make me a bit of an hypocrite, not personally believing in transplant  for myself but donating my organs so others can carry on... This very nearly made me decide not to join.. But then once I really thought about it I realised it doesn't make me an hypocrite, I'm just wise enough to know that just because I don't believe in something doesn't mean other people don't.  Who am I to declare my views as "right"?  I'm no one special... So that's why I decided to join, and I joined knowing in my heart it's what I really want to do.. So one day when someone finally gets one of my organs they wont have to sit and worry that it was given to them because the person was pressured into joining the regisar, or because they were made to feel guilty about it, they can rest assured it was a special gift that I decided to give after thinking about it seriously and deciding it's something that I actually want to do.. 

Now I've seen a few comments recently where people have disagreed with people who have decided against organ donation.. I even saw one comment where someone called people "Evil" if they weren't on the organ donation registar, really?! I feel like people are somehow being made to feel guilty and a bad human being if they decide to not join. People proclaim they must be stupid, or they are selfish... What happened to organ donation being a gift? People seem to be against  the opt out system because of this reason, saying it will no longer be a gift if people are automatically put on the registar, and they will feel guilty and bad if they receive organs knowing that person was just put on the opt out system.. But then they are quite happy to try and guilt trip people into joining or turning against them if they decide it's not something they want to do.  Now personally I feel if someone hasn't taken the time to properly think about organ donation and just decides against it then yes, you may say these people mgiht be being a bit selfish for not even thinking about it... but if someone has taken the time to think about it and then goes on to decide that actually it's not something they want to do, then surely that's their right too?  They shouldn't then have to worry about people thinking bad of them or calling them evil for making that decision..

So I guess what I'm saying in this blog is actually take the time to think about whether or not you want to join the organ donation registar, and then make a choice..  If you decide to join don't do it because you feel guilt tripped into it or feel pressured to, or because you're afraid people will dislike you if they find out you haven't joined, make sure if you do it, it's because you really want to..  And if you decide it's not something you want to do then that's absolutely fine too.. You're not going to wake up in the morning with horns and a devil tail, it doesn't make you a bad person if you've made an informed choice.  I realise there are more people waiting for a transplant then there are people on the registar, and any awareness that will help people make an informed choice is amazing, but do we really want to guilt trip people into this and make them out to be horrible people if they don't want to?  Do you really want to have someone's organ knowing that person didn't actually necessarily want to be an organ donor but just got pressured into it.  Organ donation is a gift from one person to another, I personally feel it should be kept that way..

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

The day of love..... Valentine's Day

Ahhh   a year goes by so quickly when you spend it with the person you love…It feels like no time at all since me and Neil were spending our very first valentines together.  I guess when I think about it quite a bit has happened since then, I just didn’t realise it… Last valentines day was when I found out my younger sister was pregnant with her first baby… I remember feeling stunned because she was only 16 at the time and no one knew she was pregnant… I must admit I was also a bit sad when I found out because I knew everything was going to change after that… I knew she would get married and then move away from home and I knew I would miss her loads so I was a bit upset and worried about it at the time…. but now baba is here and she really is one of the most beautiful and happy babies I’ve ever seen.. she’s growing up very fast and you only have to take one look at her to know she’s going to be a cheeky little minx when she gets older, as you can see from the pic….also even though my sister did move away from home she isn’t that far away and I still get to see her loads, only difference is I get to have lots of lovely baba cuddles too now J

Even though my sister is quite a young mum she is an amazing mummy… baba is taken care of really well and is very loved… she’s always smiling and is just generally a very happy baby.  My sister also has CF so to have a baby and still cope as well as she has is amazing, and I’m very proud of her... She’s one of those people who you know were born to be a mummy because it comes naturally to her.  I was lucky enough to be their when baba was born and I got to cut the cord which is something I will cherish forever..

Lisa-Marie (baba)

Me and Neil went out for a meal for Valentine’s at the Exeter Arms which does a Toby Carvary; the roast their is the best I’ve ever tasted.  They always do a minimum of 3 meats, usually Turkey, Beef and Gammon, so there’s always a good choice, and also unlike a lot of places they do a wide range of veg so there’s always something for everyone.  I did feel a bit greedy because Neil only had a little bit on his plate and mine was pretty much completely full ! I actually thought my appetite was just ok-ish at the minute, but in reality I think I’ve just got used to eating a lot more over the past month because of the steroids I’m on.  I noticed the man sat next to us looked at me a bit strange, I think people see how petite I am and expect me to eat hardly anything, then when they see me with a huge plate of food they wonder what the hell is going on lol…

My Valentine's outfit..

While we were having our meal I couldn’t help over hearing some of the conversation the couple next to us were having… I wasn’t purposely listening but the tables were very close together so it was hard not to… basically this couple were moaning at each other, well I say each other, it was mainly the woman moaning at him…. From what I got from the conversation he wanted to go somewhere and she didn’t… he only mentioned it, it wasn’t like he was pestering her to go or anything like that, but she seemed to snap at him and then started having a go at him for other unrelated stuff in a very negative voice… basically openly criticising him in front of a restaurant of people on Valentine’s day.. Now this couple weren’t young young, they were probably in their 30s… I understand as relationships grown over the years people get comfortable with each other, they have kids to think about and other responsibilities etc and sometimes it’s stressful and it’s not always lovey dovey, but listening to these people I didn’t sense any love between them at all… in fact it sounded like neither of them wanted to be their with each other at all…. Also I felt really sorry for the man because who would want to be criticised by their partner in front of a restaurant of people and on Valentine’s day?!  She was honestly speaking to him like he was an animal or something, she sounded like she owned him and he had to do whatever she said…it was like he didn’t have needs/wants of his own… it was all about what she wanted… I personally think a relationship is a partnership, it takes two people to make it work and the needs/wants of both partners are equally important…I would never presume to tell Neil what he can and can not do, he is his own person with his own mind and I know he would never try and order me around either… sure sometimes I get him to do stuff like his over night feed when maybe he wasn’t going to, but that’s out of love not bossiness, and he does the same to me… This woman though sounded very bitter and selfish… women often complain about men and how they’re useless and how they don’t do enough for them….. maybe if some of these women actually made an effort once in a while and didn’t constantly moan at their partners and tried to be a little more understanding then maybe men would show them more love and not feel the need to do things like have an affair.  I’m not saying for a second this is an excuse to have an affair but if you were a man being constantly criticised and moaned at and made to feel useless and then some  woman starts being nice to you and actually listens to you and treats you like a person in your own right what would you do?  I know men aren’t perfect and maybe there are specific reasons why these women feel the need to treat men like this but I do feel some women are very selfish and don’t treat a relationship as a two way thing..  If you find the right ones men are worth their weight in gold, they will protect you, comfort you, listen to you, work hard to give you everything you’ve ever needed or wanted, tell you how beautiful you are and be your biggest fan…. Is it really that much for them to ask just to be given some respect and to be told how appreciated they are once in a while? Lets not forget men are only human too… they may not always show it but they have feelings just as much as anyone else…. So next time you feel like moaning at or criticising your partner say something nice to them instead or tell them how much you appreciated something and see what happens... Anyway I just wanted to get that off my chest… it’s not just this couple I’ve seen do this…. I often see women moaning at men and I know some of it isn’t meant in a horrible way but no one likes to be moaned at and even though I know men aren’t always angels they do put up with a lot sometimes and if you treat them right they will give you the world…

Also something else I would like to get off my chest is what’s with everyone slagging valentine’s day off?! So what if it is one day that you’re suppose to show your other half how much you love them….. this doesn’t mean you have to not show them how much you love them the rest of the year, that goes without saying… if you love someone you show them all the time, but people are busy, we all have responsibilities and sometimes we don’t get to spend as much time together as we would like… so what’s wrong with having one day a year dedicated to showing how much you care… if you don’t want to buy gifts/flowers etc then don’t, but there’s nothing wrong with the idea of doing something special  to celebrate…  if that’s not your thing then fine but please don’t try and make the rest of us feel stupid for wanting to celebrate it.... each to their own..

After our meal we went to Sainsbury’s to get a DVD to watch back at the hospital… We got Johnny English 2, I’ve been meaning to watch it and Neil wanted to watch it too so we got that…. It was very funny; glad I finally got around to watching it…. Hope we didn’t annoy the other patients too much with our laughing! Lol. Was nice to curl up watching a film munching on some yummy biscuits our dietician made, she’s come up with some new tactics to get our weight up now, by bringing us in yummy biscuits! Lol.

I also got some presents from Neil (because even though I keep telling him not to buy me too much he always does!) I might change my tactic and ask him TO buy me lots of stuff, maybe then he will do the opposite? I like getting the occasional present as much as anyone but Neil doesn’t even need an occasion to get me something he just gets it… Admittedly I do always end up liking what he’s got me because he always remembers things that I mention I’m going to get or things that I like… don’t think I’ve ever met another man that listens so well… going to have to watch what I say in future, then he wont know what I like :-P 

Freddy No 6

my lovely card :-)

Obviously being in hospital for Valentine’s isn’t ideal… and some would say it isn’t the most romantic place in the world…. But actually in the end it didn’t even really matter because we got to spend it together and we still had a nice night….also the hospital is where me and Neil met and we’ve spent a lot of time their together….so even though it isn’t the most romantic place it has memories for us….the only bad things about it is I obviously had to leave later on as I’m not an inpatient at the minute only Neil is, which I was a bit sad about…. I didn’t want to leave but I left it until about half 1, so as late as possible….the ward doesn’t really allow partners to stay over night so I had to leave L

I can’t believe me and Neil have been together over a year already… Our relationship started very quickly really… it didn’t take long at all before we were in a relationship together… I know a lot of people start out as friends for a while and then slowly move into the more serious stuff but with us it was pretty instant… This was very unusual for me because I don’t automatically accept people into my life easily… I like to take my time and get to know people first…. I’m a very quiet person until I get to know someone properly then I open up and people start to see the real me… but with Neil it was different… as soon as I met him I felt comfortable with him and he was easy to talk to… this is mainly because he’s so down to earth and a bit of a chatter box :-P he will talk to anyone about anything, he doesn’t care lol….he’s a bit of a cheeky chappy J He didn’t make me feel like he wanted anything from me when we first met, you know sometimes you meet someone and you can tell straight away they want to be more than friends and are overly nice to try and make that happen…. It wasn’t like that with Neil… he just treated me like I was a good friend and was himself…. I remember we went out for a meal with some of his family while we were both in hospital (we were friends at the time) his grandma asked if he was going to pay for my meal to treat me (which I wouldn’t have let him do anyway) and he said no I don’t have much money…. Haha … I loved this because I knew what I was seeing was the genuine person and not someone who was just trying to impress me…. That was the night I fell in love with him J 

Relationships and commitment in general aren’t easy for me… I’m a very independent person by nature… I’ve always done things by myself; I’ve always been quite a self contained type of person…. My sense of freedom and independence are very important to me (I blame the fact my star sign is Sagittarius, apparently we are well known for this!) I don’t know what it is about relationships that scare me so much, I remind myself of that film runaway bride, when I get in too deep I get an overwhelming feeling of wanting to run…I need time on my own to think about things.  I guess it’s the idea of losing my independence or freedom that scares me….I get times when I just need to go off by myself and do stuff on my own… not necessarily physically but sometimes I just generally go somewhere else in my head for a while thinking about things…. And I need someone who understands that and leaves the back door unlocked so to speak...  If I’m allowed to come and go freely I will always return but if anyone tries to keep me where I am or restrict me in anyway I will run for the hills….Early on in our relationship me and Neil actually split up for a while…. This was because I got scared and felt the need to run away….. I fell for Neil very quickly and it was quite scary to feel that amount of love for someone who I hadn’t known for very long…especially when I’m not the kind of person who lets people in easily…I guess I just needed to run away to think about things and I guess to actually test how he would react to me running away… but then once I had time by myself to think about how I felt and to realise that being in a relationship with someone doesn’t takeaway your freedom then I was fine and realised how much I missed Neil…  It probably sounds stupid to everyone else but it makes sense to me lol..  I guess I just need time to come around to things sometimes…

This is what I love about Neil… he lets me come and go freely…. Because he knows I will always come back that way…I feel very lucky to have found someone who understands me and my odd ways and who treats me like an Angel J he’s always telling me I’m beautiful, when I talk he really listens to me and he’s the most unselfish person I’ve ever met….. He basically makes me know no one else could ever take my place…

I know one day me and Neil will get married and move in together…but again this is something I need time to come around to….being someone’s wife is a big deal…. Marriage is a big responsibility….. I’ve always known if I ever got married it would be forever… I think too many people rush into marriage just because they feel it’s the next step they should be doing… I don’t want to get married just because it feels like
the next thing, I want to already be in a relationship that I know is going to be life long and then get married just to seal the deal so to speak…. I think people make marriage out to be more than it actually is… the relationship you have before being married is the same relationship you will have afterwards too… the only difference is you will have a ring and a piece of paper afterwards….. I know how I feel and I know how much our relationship means to me… I don’t need a ring and a piece of paper to remind me of that……I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with getting married if your with the right person and your both ready and I am planning to one day…. I’m just saying there’s no rush…if you’re planning on being with that person forever anyway what’s wrong with waiting a while? I think people get carried away with the whole idea of a big white wedding, but actually marriage is so much more then that.... your going to be with this person for the rest of your lives...there will be times you will probably want to strangle them... times when you disagree, and maybe even times when you think about walking away... and if your relationship isn't that strong in the first place you probably wont last the course... that's why it has to be solid before you get married, so even through those tough times you stay by their side... 

Anyway that’s enough cheese and lovey dovey stuff….  I don’t want to make you all throw up; it is a valentines post though to be fair J
Hope everyone else had a lovely Valentine's Day!

Monday, 13 February 2012

My First Blog !

So I've decided to try out this blogging thing.... Quite a few people I know seem to be doing it including Blu Tac Bandit so I thought if someone as cool as him is doing it I might give it a go :-) As I've put in my description box this blog isn't about anything specific, just the many thoughts that go around in my head at times... I've never actually blogged before so sorry if I'm really rubbish at it or it gets boring!  I'm not completely new to writing as I keep a private diary but I've just never written on a public blog before...
So this morning my day has pretty much started off the same as usual..... between wring this I'm doing my morning medications, I've done my morning tablets with consist of antifungal tablets for my Aspergillus (which is a reaction to a normal fungi that is in the environment naturally) this doesn't cause a problem to normal healthy people but because of my Cystic Fibrosis my immune system is compromised so things that don't affects most people becomes a problem for me... basically I've become allergic to it and my lungs respond my creating inflammation.... I can't actually avoid this as it's in the air so I breath it invery day... but I take these tablets to try and rid my system of the aspergillus to try and lessen the reaction..  I also take a oral antibiotic called Doxycycline, this keeps infections at bay... I grow 2 serious bugs in my lungs, MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus) and pseudomonas.... these bugs aren't dangerous to other people (you wont catch them from me) I only have them because my immune system is compromised so I pick things up alot easier then most people... unless you yourself are very ill and also have a weakened immune system then you aren't at risk from me... normal healthy people rarely ever catch these type of bugs.. ... Thirdly I take a tablet called Carboceistine which is suppose to help keep the phlegm in my lungs loose and watery so it's easier to clear from my lungs.... and lastly for my morning tablets I take a Calcium tablet as people with CF don't absorb vitamins and calcium very well so we take these to help us avoid osteoporosis down the line (which is a problem for a few people with CF as they get older..... as in late 20s or earlier depending on the person) I don't personally have any problems with my bones as of yet though..

Now usually I would do my morning nebulisers which are Ventolin and Ipratropium (these open my airways to make it easier to breath as my airways collaps easily and have lots of sticky mucus in them so I need to keep them fully open with these nebs) also I have something called Pulmozyme (this helps keep the mucus loose and watery so I can cough it up more easily and lastely I have Colomycin which is a nebulised antibiotic to keep the infection in my lungs down.... This morning I've had a small bleed though (which isn't completely unusual, I've had them before) I had a bit of a coughing fit and a small blood vessel must have poped.... so I've decided not to do my nebs just in case it irritates it more and causes another bleed... will do them later instead... 

not the nicest to look at sorry lol

So today I have a few things to do..... I need to order another bottle of gas as mine seems to have ran out... it really hasn't lasted long but then it's been really cold so I've had my heater on continuously plus using the oven to cook... I also need to try and book a table somewhere nice for Valentine's day (which I'm worried I've left a bit late in true Charmaine style) but hopefully I can still get one... it was my turn to plan Valentine's day this year as Neil planned it last year and he's obviously not well at the minute.... My planning skills aren't as good as Neil's though unfortunately :/ I always leave things to the last minute! Also going to find out about starting some Yoga  classes... A few people seem to recommend it for helping the lungs and I need to get into some kind of exercise (exercise has never been something I've done but I think now is as good a time to start as any.... need to get these lungys working to their best)  And that's pretty much it really..... that's my plan for today, apart from the usual everyday stuff like being a domestic godess haha! :-)